It's Painfully Obvious

It's painfully obvious this resisting temptation thing for 40 days isn't going to work. At least on my own, it isn't going to work. Denying oneself and the lusts of this flesh just doesn't come easy. Jesus tells us if we are going to follow Him then we are to pick up our cross daily, we need to deny ourselves. Why would anyone want to do this? This will be 40 days of dying. Why?

This isn't going to make me holy. This isn't going to get me into Heaven. This isn't going to earn me any points with God. Why should I bother?

Why should I feel so compelled to prepare my heart for Resurrection Sunday, the day Jesus conquered death? It's amazing how I am already fighting against this inclination to "deny oneself". Quite frankly, I am comfortable right where I'm at. Or perhaps not just comfortable, but complacent.

....No, not complacent; because I still believe there is more to this Jesus than I've known for the last 27 years of walking with Him. There is something in me that needs to die in order for new life to emerge. I'm not sure what that is, or what it looks like, but I'm going to commit to this 40 day thing.  I have a feeling that my failing on this human level is actually succeeding on some small spiritual level.

It's going to be painful, obviously.