He Nudged Me

Day16 of the Lenten Journey finds me alive and well!

Since I've been attempting to deny my flesh of certain mindless indulgences or comforts I find myself inconsistent yet determined. My focus has been more on a physical level than a spiritual level; but didn't Jesus blend the physical with the spiritual when he fasted and journeyed through the desert for 40 days? Of course, He was led by the Holy Spirit.

Am I? Am I believer in Jesus? Do I believe in the filling of the Spirit when one accepts Jesus as their Saviour? Yes to both of those questions. So, when being led by Spirit, why do I tend to limit that to just an emotional experience? Actually, that nudging I had, to direct me towards the Lord before the Lenten season, was that not the Holy Spirit who indwells me? He nudged my intellect and my heart.  My Bible teaches that the Spirit always testifies to Jesus, the Son of God. It wouldn't have been the devil encouraging my heart to move towards Jesus. And believe me, it surely wasn't my flesh either! My flesh would NEVER desire anything that wasn't pleasurable and didn't bring immediate gratification. That's just the nature of the flesh.

So yes, indeed I was led by the Spirit into this 40 day journey in my desert of sorts. I'm still battling the fleshly desires on an ever constant basis. I'm trying to be conscientious of my mind, will and emotions, my fleshly desires and my spirit man, who so desperately needs to built up in Jesus. I am more aware of my desert surroundings. I'm also more discerning regarding needs, wants and desires. I feel I'm slowly awakening. There is a Spring-like quality that is happening inside of me. This short path of death and darkness that I have chosen is allowing light to shine and define some things in my life.

Following is a small list of physical victories and losses:
- I walked out of three various retail stores within the last week without purchasing a single thing my eye lusted after. I even put stuff back. It was a sad but good feeling at the time.
- I also confess that at other times, I did buy some stuff that I don't really need. I was lured by the $1 price tag.
- I'm making good on a vow I made to myself for the last 20 years. I told myself that when I turn 40, I'd get serious about exercising for health. Basically, I'd eat a whole lot more salads and veggies, less red meat and less dessert and exercise everyday. It won't be about "looking good", it will be for health. Granted, I'm in the days of small beginnings, but I BEGAN!
- I ate pizza, Cajun tots, homemade monkey bread (using Sid, my sourdough starter...he turned 1 year old on the 22nd) and had 1 pt. of Ruby beer.
- I ran 2.3 miles today. I've never enjoyed running. But today, I felt different about it; only after starting the run. That leads me to tomorrow's story.