poem: "Fire" by: Judy Brown

What makes a fire burn
is space between the logs,
a breathing space.
Too much of a good thing,
too many logs
packed in too tight
can douse the flames
almost as surley
as a pail of water.

So building fires
requires attention
to the spaces in between,
as much as to the wood.

When we are able to build
open spaces
in the same way
we have learned
to pile on logs,
then we come to see how
it is fuel, and the absence of fuel
together, that make fire possible.

We only need to lay a log
lightly from time to time.
A fire
grows
simply because the space is there,
with openings
in which the flame
that knows just how it wants to burn
can find its way.


This was a poem we read at our spiritual formation retreat.
How does this poem relate to your spiritual walk? What words or phrases speak to you?

Thankfulness in Crisis

Jesus.

I'm glad I know Him.

I read this article today about people who are killing themselves over this financial crisis. Some are jobless, have taken a big hit in the stock market, and are facing foreclosure of their home. And they killed themselves because of this. Have any of you read some of these stories?

I find the stories disturbing. It is sad. People who trust in this broken world's system. It's all they have (or had). I cannot imagine living without knowing where my trust lies. I trust in Jesus. I trust His words. I am thankful (the Bible tells me to be thankful in all things, for this is the will of God for me). I am thankful for my husband; he's my soul mate and best friend. I am thankful for my two children; they are healthy and bring such profound joy to my life. I am thankful for family; that there is such variety in personalities in one family is sometimes just plain astounding. I am thankful for friends; I get to choose my friends and I have quite a variety of them. I love having relationships. I think that is the key to a happy, successful life. Be careful how to define successful. In the end, most of the things in this world will burn as hay and stubble. There isn't anything that one can take with them when they die. Well, actually, one can take some things. They aren't tangible though. Relationships are the gold that Jesus talked about; the stuff that doesn't burn away or the moths eat. Relationships are based on love. And, well...love never fails.

My marriage survived joblessness, no savings, months behind on mortgage, deep credit debt and emotional turmoil. My trust in Jesus has never wavered. If we lose it "all", what I have I really lost? Do I still have family and friends? Do I trust God's word that He loves me so much, that He will provide? It may not always look like the provision I am accustomed to or even think I am entitled to (entitled.... there's another fault in thinking), but He does provide. I can testify to that.

I am in no way meaning to diminish the heartache of what we term "crisis". I do know, that I am stronger than I was two years ago because of the "crap". I am also wiser and my trust in the Lord is deeper. I am thankful I had a chance to toughen up and press harder into Jesus. My relationships are stronger, too. And because life tends to be cyclical, we are now gainfully employed, re-building savings, renting, and are about to be debt free. We have experienced some emotional healing (our marriage is stronger and healthier than ever before) and we haven't lost a single friend through any of it. In fact, our friendships became richer and deeper.

I love knowing Jesus and knowing that He still works miracles.

cracking the code

Our friend and former Pastor, Les Herron, once talked about how all believers in Christ are missionaries. We are missionaries cleverly disguised as ___________ (nurse, teacher, stay home mom, soldier, etc.). Where we live and the people we are surrounded by are considered our mission field. We are to here to learn the culture and show God's love to the people. It isn't necessarily about fundraising, trip planning, skit performing heading-out-to-the-mission-field. It's really more about living your daily life, missionally.

My problem, or so I think, is that I live in suburbia. Suburbanites are a tough nut to crack. There's an unwritten, assumed code. Most people are comfortable with their lives. There really is so much comfort here in suburbia. There is an attitude of independence here also. We would all agree that we got here (in suburbia) by pulling up our bootstraps and working for it.

Suburbia looks so nice and clean and we can hide away in our nice houses and polished cars and busy ourselves with shopping, sports, entertainment and even work. We got here by ourselves (so we think), so we can take care of anything by ourselves. We know where to go and how to get there if we need something.If we get sick, we head to the Dr. If we're out of money, we ask for a raise or take a second job. If there isn't enough money for something right now, we can charge it on our credit card. Tired? Take a vacation. Bored? Go shopping, go to the movies, go hiking or whatever.

So, with all of this in mind, how do we "break in" to people's lives and hearts. How do we live with a missional purpose? How do we stand out as a peculiar people, as the Bible calls us to do? What does following Jesus and His ways look like in modern day suburbia? How can I not get sucked in to this suburban life; being "in" the world but not "of " the world?

I would think a good starting point is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. I know, we don't have to be vulnerable. The beauty is, we get to choose to. What I mean by being vulnerable is allowing others to see who I truly am. To have a window view into my life. No, I don't have it all together. Yes, I'm still working through pain. I'm working through emotional issues regarding relationships. I'm nowhere near the financial goals I have set. Things keep breaking, including hearts and lives of people I know. These people I know...live in suburbia.

I would think, that wherever you are cleverly disguised as a missionary, there are people there who need a friend. A friend willing to love them enough to be vulnerable, so that they may feel safe and quite possibly loved and accepted. Because, you know what? Chances are they want to be found out and loved for who they really are. Are you willing to scale some walls and go in after some people? Jesus is. He's looking for volunteers to go with Him.

September Mornings

45 degrees is the low at night. We still sleep with the windows open. We freeze our patooties off. We like it. I'm digging out my flannels. The air in the morning smells of burning fireplaces or woodstoves from surrounding homes. That, mixed with the smell of pine and cedar trees. Ahhhh...

I have spent 37 years in Texas and this is typically a hot month (literally) for hurricanes. So the air gets really still, really humid and really hot and sticky. Sometimes, September is worse than July and August combined. So, my body is once again adjusting to the climate up here. I know I write alot about the weather and acclimating to the environment; but it really is one of the more significant physical changes with living somewhere that is in a different region all together.

I am missing my friends and family back in Texas. Really. I am having a difficult time this week. We've made friends up here, but there is just something terrific about having friends who know where you've been and see your faults and still love you. The getting-to-know-you part is over and you and they are fitted nicely together like pieces sewn into a quilt. It's comfortable. It's easy. It's cozy. You feel and know you are equally yoked and can therefore share each other's burdens with joy and understanding. I miss that. I miss camaraderie. I miss spontaneous get-togethers. I miss having tea or dinner with the girls. I miss girl road trips to small towns. I miss double dating with other couples. I miss my favorite restaurants (Ricos, Los Cucos, Pappadeaux). I shouldn't dwell on this. It makes it worse. If you are reading this, please pray for us.

The boys are still wanting to make a neighborhood friend. They, too are missing friends we left back in Texas. We ALL had such deep and meaningful friendships in Houston. *sigh*

Enough of this belly-aching'! I shall go occupy myself with a good book. :)

I was reminded today of something that happened to James and I about 2 years ago. We were on our way to the church facility one Sunday morning (I think we were in charge of something. What I remember is that it was really important that we be there on time, if not early). As we were driving, we passed a stranded car along side the road with a young couple looking distraught, standing beside the vehicle. He had tattoos and was smoking a cigarette. Their car was stuck in mud. We were in our Jeep with 4 wheel drive and a hitch. We could have helped. But, we were pushing it time wise to get the meeting. I cried. It was a sad circumstance. We were so busy going to church; we didn’t have time to be the church. Yikes! The popular acronym among Christians: WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) came to mind. I know what the Jesus I know would’ve done. He would have pulled the Jeep over and He and his disciples would get out, hook up the car, pull it out of the mud, say something profound and teach into the situation. That isn’t what James and Michelle did. No. We passed them, I cried, I pushed the responsibility onto Jesus to send someone with more time to help them. We were in a time crunch and besides, we didn’t have a chain. We would’ve been of no use. Interesting how we justify our actions. But I prayed for them!? (Sigh)
I am reminded also of a parable about the lost sheep. About leaving the 99 to go after the 1 lost one and how there is so much rejoicing in heaven over 1 sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. One could get busy tending sheep. I am reminded of another parable about the Good Samaritan. Notice the ones who passed by the certain poor soul: “a certain priest” and “a Levite”. Ouch! Could that be us? It took a Samaritan to show love and compassion to the poor soul in the parable. Samaritans were the least of all humankind back in that day (Perhaps they smoked cigarettes and had tattoos. They obviously didn’t look like righteous Jews) but, these Samaritans are ones Jesus used to teach us a lesson about loving our neighbors. He modeled love, He spoke of love, and He was all about love. In fact, the Bible says, “God is love”.
The lesson for me: Don’t forget to love my neighbor, even when I find myself in a time crunch. Being a follower of Jesus is more than just trying to make it to the church on time. It is more about being the timely church to a lost and hurting world.

WHERE DID THE SUMMER GO?

Hello?

Hello? Is summer over there? Here, it's 67 degrees and partly cloudy on August the 25th. I think I lost summer. I'm not too terribly busy anymore with guests and I'm wanting a chance for some summertime activity. I only went swimming twice (well, I didn't swim, the water was too cold). I haven't had any mixed drinks while lounging on my patio. I haven't read any magazines ( I bought some with good intentions). I've only worn sleeveless shirts for maybe 2 weeks total? My "what-little-tan-I-had" is now fading. It's sad. I knew not to expect a long summer season up here in Oregon. I was told 7 weeks. I just didn't want to believe it. Summer must have tried to tell me it was leaving after that 105 degree weekend, but I thought, it was telling me to come along and play. I cleared my week so as not to be busy. I know that once September gets here, it's time to crack down with school and fall schedules. So, I was getting my summer toys together and *PUFF*......summer left.

People tell me that sometimes, here in Oregon, we'll get an Indian Summer during September. Well, I'm going to take my mixed drink, sleeveless shirt and fading tan self outside and have a pow-wow and perhaps a dance around the fire tonight (they say it should be 48 degrees tonight) for a call out to Summer to come back, or at least send it's Indian cousin.

O.K., I read the Twilight series. My family survived my addiction. I survived as well. My favorite two books of the series are Twilight and Breaking Dawn. Period.

Other things I survived this summer: 80/85 degree days (a cinch ), my Mother-in-Law visiting (nice), our friends, the Reid's visiting (which was totally fun for me), my parents visiting (which was delightful and comforting), no swimming pool filled days (sad) , camping in Eastern Oregon (hot), a road trip to Bend with my parents (fun), no fajitas or ritas (disappointment).

Now that I'm on the back side of summer, I tried the pool, again. Still too cold! Farewell to the lazy days by the pool. I have 4 more weeks until we start school. Just for the record, this was the fastest summer in my books.

I hope everyone else had a delightful summer (and hopefully it didn't go at lightening speed). Email me and let me know what you did this summer, I would love to read about it!